Rantings of a Writer......

I wrote this rant on my computer 3 years, almost 4 years ago circa 2008.  How far I have come from this now!!! Wow, I peek into my state of mind and life back then.....


            I am scared when I write. I am afraid that no one will ever read what I have written or that no one really cares what  I write.  Is that what life is really about. Everyone for themselves, not really giving a damn what other people are doing, saying, thinking, suffering…?  What do I really care about? I don’t care about them, I don’t really hear their words when they speak, on and on. They sound like a distant background music in a department store that I don’t really hear though I know it is there, playing its monotonous tone in the distance. I do wonder why I don’t hear them, I did once. I did care at one time in my life what happened in my acquaintances’ lives and their stories of everyday life and tragedies. I can’t help it. I don’t really care about it anymore. Who does? They don’t care about me. They don’t even know me, or ask me who I am what I need  and why I am here. I would like to find out too, WHY am I here in this chaotic mess. I find this constant whirl a little exhausting. I do wish to shut it out and stand in darkness without noise. But, that will never happen.

            So therefore, here I am. Sitting under the fan, whipping the cool air about me and tapping endlessly at the keyboard. I do hope what I am writing will be good and interesting and somewhat moving to someone. Maybe someone can relate, maybe someone will sit there, reading on the couch after a long days work and nod and smile in agreement to every word they have read of my own opinions and thoughts and maybe laugh out loud too. I can’t say my life is that interesting but it is definitely not boring, rather a little confusing to myself.

            I close my laptop, it’s warmth feels comforting on my lap. I close my eyes and breath for a minute. What now? I shove the computer over on the couch and turn off the tv. Just another constant noise in my background to control. My eyes ach, dry and slightly swollen from staring at the screen.  I think I’ll go to bed. It’s much better to think when not worn out.

Next morning…

            I tried to do a writing class once. You know, the kind that  you do through the mail, what’s it called? Correspondence course. I paid every penny and did I get even one assignment done?  Nope. Not one. I will never become a writer. I will never…

            Shut up!!!  I am not normally pessimistic. I am what I call an optimistic passive pessimist. If that makes any sort of sense!  Now a days, I force myself to think writing, see writing, live it, love it. That’s what you want to be when you grow up (I’m already 30 yrs old) then chop chop, move along already! I did publish a poem once, though I don’t think having to pay for a copy of the poetry book rather than get paid counts as really published.  But, I guess I could always say it does.

            Today is job hunting day. The miracle of computers, internet and wi-fi allows anyone to job shop on their own couch, in shorts and a t-shirt, with the tv on. I apply at several places, hoping my skills as a registered nurse will get me something. The only problem with my own career, is that there are openings, just not in my specialty, on day shift with my salary requirements. Of course you do have to worry too about the job really being a real posting. Some companies will post a job and give it to a person already working in the hospital that had been waiting for that position to open. So in essence, the position really doesn’t exist.  I hope that is not the case today. I don’t have much money in my bank account to suffer that fate.  

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Candied Sin

Candied Sin

I can hold you in my arms
Feeling your soul’s embrace
I can make it hard to breath
Standing face to face
Lips of sweetest candied sin
Wisps of thoughts ignite within
Makes the hours infinite
Observations  intricate
Touch of skin, heat and lace
Skimmed upon a jaded face
Into your depths, here I go
Swept into my very soul.
©2011 Alexia Purdy

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New Title and New Look!!!! Ever Shade: A Dark Faerie Tale by Alexia Purdy

Interim Blue (The Teleen Trilogy #1) has a new look and a new title!!!  Check it out!  Launching with Crushing Hearts and Black Butterfly Publishing in March 2012, it's going to be EPIC!      Introducing:  
 Ever Shade: A Dark Faerie Tale by Alexia Purdy
I'm excited about it and so happy to be sharing it with you today!

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BIG NEWS!!! The Teleen Trilogy picked up by Crushing Hearts and Black Butterfly Publishing!!!




Big Announcement!!!!

The Teleen Trilogy by Alexia Purdy has been picked up for publishing by Crushing Hearts and Black Butterfly Publishing!!!!!

Relaunch of The Teleen series begins in March 2012
Keep an eye out for more updates and fabulous authors from this innovative publisher.

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Blog hop giveaway participation cancelled

Sorry guys but I had to pull out of the Blog Hop holiday giveaway. I am sooo sorry!!! The books have been picked up by a publisher and therefore no longer available to giveaway. Thanks for participating and I look forward to more giveaways in the future. -Alexia

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